The Fear Of Failure

Have you ever put something off for an unknown reason?

Find yourself knowing you need to get it done today but instead you keep finding excuses or ways of distracting yourself?

I think just about everybody has in one way or another. 

Typically this is down to a fear of failure, also known as Atychiphobia, which is an avoidance due to a potentially unsuccessful outcome.

But just because you are comfortable exposing yourself to failure in some areas and not others doesn't mean this isn't you. 

In certain environments or situations, normally ones we have been exposed to thousands of times before we can be comfortable with failure. 

But in unknown environments, or possible situations in which failure is public or seen by many others, many, including myself, struggle.

Having worked with my counsellor for almost a year now I am I have been able to identify the situations in which I am and am not comfortable with failure. And most importantly the often deep rooted cause for this belief pattern.

As it does with most, our belief systems and therefore fears stem from childhood where we are very impressionable and are learning to navigate the world.

And sure you can adopt the get comfortable being uncomfortable approach, which we try to adopt at Peak everyday. Progressive exposure to situations allows you to build confidence.

But sometimes this is like trying to swim against the current. On a good day you may be able to push through, but more often and than not it will be very uncomfortable and gain you little progress. 

I’ve found through counselling, I have been able to identify and understand the root cause for these fears and tackle them. Which in turn slows the metaphoric current of the water i'm swimming against.

Has it totally removed the fear? No. But has it become a lot easier to tackle everyday? Definitely. 

Why is this relevant?

Everyday we speak to our clients about their lifestyle, and possible changes they could make. Start exercising, sleep better, improve their diets etc.

Often those that are successful in doing so aren't the ones that get it right the first time. 

They are ones that try once, twice, three times and on the fourth time having learnt from before to crack it and get it right. 

Those that are successful aren't afraid of tackling failure. That's not to say the fear isn't there, because I'm sure it is. 

But they are comfortable knowing they may fail a few times but that doesn’t define them. 

Those that “can’t find the time” or “haven’t got around to it” or “can’t find anywhere” are often the ones that won't even begin to try, despite knowing it's going to benefit them if they do. 

When these decisions seem illogical because it's in our best interest to make them, I always stop and ask myself ”what emotion is stopping this person from making a logical step forward”.

Because emotion will also win over logic.