My Struggle With Self Reflection

One thing I've always struggled with is self reflection. I’m very analytical, so I like facts and figures. I don’t like abstract thoughts or trying to look internally to find meaning in things. 

It’s not that I can’t do it, I just don’t find it easy. It doesn’t come naturally to me, I have to make a real effort to try and dig deeper into things, and I find it very uncomfortable to do. 

It’s part of the reason I see a counselor every week. I don’t want there to be two versions of myself. The person I am when I’m alone Vs the person I portray when I’m around others. I want to be able to be the true version of myself at all times. 

In order to do this, there are things I need to work on within myself. Certain fears and childhood traumas to overcome, previous experiences accept and move on from to allow me to be the person I want to be.

But it’s not an easy process, nor is it a quick one. All my past experiences have shaped me into the person I am today, and I likely wouldn’t be in the position I am now if I hadn’t experienced some of those things. 

The deeper I dive into my past, the more I see how it has shaped me. Talking through things each week has helped me understand the ‘why’ behind a lot of the things I do, but it’s also helped me identify some of the negative coping strategies I’d created for myself.

There’s still a long way to go, and the deeper I dive the harder it gets. But I’m not starting to see the positive in it too. It’s helped me create stronger connections with friends and family, because I’m able to open myself up more instead of shutting myself away to try and deal with things alone.

I haven’t written this to get sympathy from anyone. I’ve written it because every single person on the planet has things in their past that they’ve had to overcome, that have shaped them into the person they are today. 

Our brain is constantly taking in information, and it uses our past experiences to help understand and process the information, and therefore will make a decision based on that. Any traumas of negative experiences we’ve had in the past will continue to affect how our brain perceives the world around us.

This is why it is so important to be looking after all areas of your health. If there’s an emotional trauma in your past, it can create physical symptoms within the body. We can help reduce the physical symptoms by improving the function of the brain and body, but the issue will never be fully resolved until the emotional stressor is dealt with.

This is why if we recommend you speak to a counselor, or a functional medicine practitioner, or a dentist, or an optician, or whoever else we may refer you to, it's so important that you explore that route. We want to solve the route cause of any issue you’re currently experiencing, not just manage the symptoms and hope for the best.